9 Things That Happen When You Homestead

If you're considering becoming a homesteader, raising livestock, or taking part in any sort of farm-like activities, let me first warn you about 9 things that are almost guaranteed to happen when you do:

1. You will become the main source of info about all things homesteading/farming to everyone you know. 

You probably know several other homestead-minded people, since we tend to seek each other out, but it's a pretty exclusive club. Only the really cool kids are allowed in, and let's face it -- most of your friends just aren't that cool. I'm just layin' down the facts, Ma'am, just the facts. But those of your friends who are that cool will come to you when they are getting started, aren't very experienced yet, and need advice.

2. You will also get tagged in every video or picture on Facebook of cute baby livestock antics.

It will seem inexplicable to you, but most people actually don't own livestock. Some people don't even like them -- shocking, I know.  There's a pretty good chance that you may be the only livestock owner some of your friends and family know. As such, you're the first one they think of when a cute goat picture pops onto their news feed. It's good that there's no such thing as too many cute baby animals.

3. You will realize that the vast majority of people are uneducated about things like the facts of life, where our food comes from, and other things that will be (un)common sense to you. 

I don't mean this in a disrespectful way. It's a huge failing of our education. Once upon a time when most people produced the majority of their own food, homestead wisdom was common place. Now it's a rarity. The fact is that way too many people don't know simple things like why cows make milk, where eggs come from, or that most breeds of pigs can reach a mature weight of 500+ pounds. 

You will be met with a lot of ignorance, sometimes from potential customers, sometimes from people who own livestock and don't do enough research, sometimes from complete strangers, and sometimes from family and friends. These situations will leave you scratching your head, but it will also give you a desire to educate the uninformed (and sometimes misinformed) masses!

4. You will become immune to a number of, shall we say, "unique" smells.

Ah, the sweet smell of the barnyard in the morning. Manure. Compost. Buck stank (aka eau de male goat urine and scent glands). Horse sweat. Human sweat. Hay. Straw. Dust. Fly attractant. Various medical supplies, such as salves. You will eventually stop noticing such smells, but remember that those around you will not! Here's a helpful guide for when it's safe to go out without showering after working on the farm (click to view larger):

5. You will constantly be learning.

It doesn't matter how long you've been doing something, there is always more to learn. Just when you think you've got a pretty good handle on things, life will throw you another curve ball. This is a good thing, though, because you will get really good at researching and you will make a lot of connections with mentors, vets, and otherwise more experienced people than yourself who will help you along the way. No matter how smart or experienced you are, there is always someone who knows something you don't and always something you haven't experienced yet! 

Thankfully it's fun to learn in most cases, but some lessons will be learned the hard way. Those are the times when you just have to stick what you've learned in your back pocket and move forward.

6. You will find hay in unexpected places.

Your hair. Your bed. Your underwear/bra. Your shoes. I've even looked down to see hay floating in my water glass. It's impossible to keep the stuff under control! This is especially unpleasant for those of us with mild hay allergies, because it also gets in your nose and on your skin. On particularly bad days you will be blowing hay particles out of your nose.

7. "Normal" food starts to taste bad.

Pasteurized homogenized milk? Ewwww. Refrigerated eggs with pale yellow yolks? No thanks. Anything that comes in a box? Homemade is so much better. And let's be honest here -- nothing will ever compare to the taste of a fresh, fully ripe melon right off the vine... All that under-ripe, shipped-in produce just pales in comparison. 

This applies to other store bought items as well. There are few things you can't make yourself (or buy direct from a person or farm) that isn't of better quality than the goods that fill store shelves. We haven't used store-bought soap in years!

Of course, that doesn't mean that you'll never order a pizza or head to your favorite Mexican restaurant for supper at the end of a long day. There will always be days when you don't want to cook!

8. Your idea of normal conversation will not be what most would consider normal. 

It's not unusual to discuss various bodily functions, body parts, or other unusual or sometimes even gross topics. You will lose all boundaries and language filters when it comes to the things that go on with your livestock. Who cares if you're eating that pizza we talked about earlier? If it's on your mind, it's most likely going to come out of your mouth. And why are people so bothered by words like "testicles" anyway? It's just a natural body part, after all.

The good news is that if any of your friends are in the medical field, they can easily commiserate with you. They see worse things on a daily basis than you will ever see on a farm. *shudders*

9. You will realize how blessed you are to live on farm, big or small. 

Whether you live on one acre or a hundred, whether you consider yourself a farmer, gardener, homesteader, or something in between...you are one of the lucky ones. That feeling of gratitude will never go away, because you have way more blessings than you can count. 

Cheers 

Thoughts while Waiting on Joy (Nigerian Color Genetics)

As Joy's due date nears (end of June/early July), I am of course nervous, but I'm also really curious to see what her kids will look like! There is always that anticipation -- bucks or does? how many? -- but Joy's kidding presents a unique opportunity in the color genetics department. Joy is a black goat with minimal white, so genetically speaking she is only able to pass on black (or, very rarely, recessive red) and her white patches to her kids. That may sound boring, so if you're wondering what could possibly be so interesting about a goat who can only pass on the gene for black, let me explain:

Please bear with me here. I find genetics endlessly fascinating, but I will admit that they're a little over my head. So I'm going to avoid the fancy jargon for the most part. Not many people are familiar with those terms, and there's a very good chance I would use some incorrectly anyway. I'm not a geneticist, so let's just keep it simple for everyone's sake! First, I will try to briefly and simply cover the basics of what I'm talking about so that things make a little sense.

The Basics as I understand them: Each goat has two copies of a gene that determines their color or pattern, one from each parent. Recessive genes are genes that require two copies (one from each parent) in order to be visibly expressed on the goat. Dominant genes are genes that only require a single copy in order to be visibly expressed. If a goat inherits a dominant gene from one parent and a recessive from the other, the dominant gene will be the one to show up in the goat's appearance. These color genes are located on the "agouti locus," which is basically a place in the genetic code that holds the genes that determine color/pattern.

Other things like the specific shade of a color or whether or not the goat has white areas are determined by different genes in different places. For example, the buckskin pattern would be determined by these color genes we're talking about whereas the shade of buckskin (light, dark, mahogany, etc) and any white on the buckskin goat (spots, belt, overlay, roaning, etc) are not. 

What'cha hidin' in there, Joy?

So, about that black gene. In fancy terms, Joy has two copies of the black gene on her agouti locus. This is true of all black goats, because black is a recessive gene. That means that in order for a kid to be born black, both parents must have supplied a copy of the black gene. This is how I determined earlier this year that my buck Bazinga (a red chamoise) and my doe Sandy (a buckskin with white) both carry a copy of the black gene when they produced a black kid. 

This is also means that all black goats have two copies of the black gene, meaning that they can't pass on any other color. Black goats bred to black goats will always produce black goats, and any kid with a black parent is guaranteed to carry at least one black gene, which will be masked by another color unless they also inherit a black gene from their other parent.

Is your head spinning yet? Good, mine too. Let's continue!

Since black is recessive, that means that if Joy has a black kid, then Diddy (a buckskin with white) is also carrying a black gene. In addition, any other colors produced by the pairing must come from Diddy. Basically, whatever other color or pattern may be lurking behind Diddy's buckskin (which is a dominant gene, meaning that any goat that carries that pattern will express it), breeding him to Joy has the potential to reveal it. If they produce a gold kid, for example, then I know that Diddy carries both a buckskin and a gold gene. I don't expect that to happen -- I'm not even sure if it could, since I'm not sure if gold is dominant or recessive -- but I'm just using that as an example.

So what do I actually expect to happen?

Diddy, the daddy-to-be.

Well, I think I am most likely to get black or buckskin kids, probably with at least a little white since both parents are carrying white. However, since Diddy's sire is a chamoise, I would not be too surprised for that pattern to be produced, too. Diddy also has roaning, so that's a possibility as well. 

To be honest, I don't care if those kids come out green! I just want everything to go smoothly and everyone to be healthy. Heck, she can give me more bucklings if she wants. See if I care! Hah! 

In all seriousness, I just find it really interesting and fun to learn about genetics and to play the color guessing game. The more I learn about Nigerian color genetics, the more accurately I can guess. For example, I now know that if I breed Bazinga to a black goat, I will only get black or chamoise kids. (I should have known that already, since he has a black parent, but that didn't occur to me until this blog post...)

They still manage to throw curve balls, though, and I don't think we will ever be able to really predict what the genetics will throw our way when it comes to Nigerians! For example, this year I had two heavily roaned kids out of parents who showed no visible roaning at all. Go figure! 

I guess all that's left to say is this: if you want to know what colors are hiding in your goats, get a black goat for your breeding program (solid if you can find one!). And if you're interested in learning more about this subject, this article is a good starting place. In addition, this website is a great source for learning all the various colors and patterns of Nigerians.

We're all going to have a good laugh if Joy does have a gold kid...

Cheers

Brownie's Birth Story - May 4th, 2015

I realized recently that I never blogged Brownie's birth story as I had promised. Oops! Better late than never, right?

Well, this will be a short tale. Brownie has always been a very stoic, sneaky doe when it comes to giving birth. The first couple of times she did so, I missed it all together. The second time she gave birth, my dad and I checked her before leaving to get lunch at Taco Bell, which is roughly 10-15 minutes away from us. When we came back, she had twin bucklings all dried off and ready to go.

On the morning May 4th, 2015, Brownie seemed pretty much normal. She was a little reluctant to be moved from the barn to the pasture, but honestly that isn't unusual for her. She doesn't like to be walked on a leash, so not wanting to be taken to browse didn't send up red flags for me. I was also in a little bit of a rush to get everyone moved, for reasons I can't remember now, so I just did a quick once-over of her, got everyone moved, and went about my business. Since she didn't seem eminent, I didn't bother to do any extra mid-day checks other than looking out the window. In the back of my mind, I really thought I had at least several days before she gave birth.

That evening when it was time for everyone to go back to the barn for the night, Brownie was also reluctant to go back "home." That struck me as unusual, because the goats are usually ready to make a bee line for the barn when it's time for them go back up for the night. I think they understand that the barn is safer than the pasture, so when dusk is getting closer they want to be tucked in safe and sound.

Noticing this, I stopped to pay more attention. Light bulbs went off. This goat was about to kid! Not in a week or a few days, but tonight! Her behavior and non-existent ligaments were a big tip off, but the main give away was a small amount of amber mucus. A little bit of white or opaque mucus can show up weeks before the doe actually goes into labor, but once you've seen both types of mucus you know the difference. The "I'm about to go" mucus is amber in color and will be present in larger amounts. At first there may only be a bit visible -- on Brownie that night there was perhaps a teaspoon or two early on -- but when things really get going it will come in a long stream. (I should note that I've also had does kid who didn't present significant mucus beforehand. They like to mix it up and keep us on our toes.)

Aye yi yi. Let this be a lesson to you: don't put things off thinking you have plenty of time to do them. I didn't even have the kidding stall ready! Before each doe kids, I like to completely clean out the kidding stall (if it hasn't been already), spread some diatomaceous earth (DE) on the floor, and put down fresh straw or shavings to be sure that everything is nice and neat.

Now it was nearly dusk, the stall was not ready, and the goat was going to kid soon. I have never prepped a kidding stall so fast! I quickly spruced it up, hastily put down some DE, and spread out fresh straw. Then I moved Brownie over, filled a water bucket and hay manger for her, and ran to get my kidding kit from the house.

Then I waited, but I didn't have to wait long at all. She gave birth to single chamoise buckling. Nothing terribly eventful there. He came out feet and nose first just like we like, and nursed fairly quickly.

If there's one thing I can say about Brownie, she is an excellent mother. She kids easily and quickly and takes care of those babies like a pro.

 Way to go Brownie!

Cheers

10 Things Strong Women Want from Men

This isn't my usual type of post, and I'm not really sure what prompted me to write it, but here I am...typing away.

My mom and I were talking with a friend tonight when we ended up on the subject of men. Don't worry, we weren't gossiping -- well, at least not much -- but we were sharing our thoughts and opinions about men and what we look for in them (or, in the case of my married mother, what we appreciate in them).

All three of us are, to one degree or another, farm women. Farm women tend to share a few traits. We're a little different. We're a little stubborn. We're oftentimes a little stinky. (What can I say? Farm life creates some odors...) And we're strong and independent. Farm life ain't for sissies, no matter what level you farm. Anything from a hobby flock of chickens to 100 acres, farming requires hard work, hard decisions, and hard knocks. We're not the only breed of strong women, but we're a pretty unique bunch.

In short, farm women are not exactly delicate lilies swaying in the gentlest of breezes.

All this talk got me to thinking, and thinking leads to writing, and so here I am sharing with you some things strong women -- especially strong farm women -- want in a man. Obviously I can't speak for every woman, as we each have our own individual needs, but I feel like these are some good starting points. 

1. Strong women require strong men. Not to "tame" us (don't get me started) but to compliment us. To walk the journey of life together. Two people can't travel through life together if one person can't keep up with the other. Whether it's carrying hay bales or carrying burdens, physical, mental, and emotional strength are necessary.
2. Command respect. Note I said command, not demand. You can demand respect as loudly as the day is long, but until your character and your actions warrant it, you won't get it. Respect goes a long, long way in a relationship and if you're going to get it from a strong farm girl, you have to earn it. We aren't impressed by posturing or showboating.
3. Be honest. Keep your word and be dependable. Mean what you say and say what you mean; don't falsely represent yourself to impress us. We won't put up with any crap. We shovel that stuff on a regular basis, so we know it when we see it.
4. Be patient. Let's be honest here. You're going to need a lot of patience. No, we probably don't need another [insert animal or plant here], but we're most likely going to get it anyway. Yes, we will be stubborn as a mule, ornery as a goat, pig-headed, moody as a mare, and sometimes mad as a bull seeing red. When we're busy, we run around like a chicken with its head cut off. (We also know exactly what that looks like.) But hey, you're lucky if we take to you like a duck to water!
   
   Also, be patient when trying to cross our fences. We know how to build them hog tight, horse high, and bull strong.
5. Show initiative and take the lead. This doesn't mean boss us around -- that will not go over well. But we don't want you to take a backseat to us, either. We are used to doing things ourselves, making decisions on our own, and basically being independent and self-reliant. However, we don't want a relationship in which we constantly take the lead. We expect a man to be able to step into a leadership role, get stuff done, and be the first to take action sometimes. Jo Dee Messina said it well when she sang, "I want a man that stands beside me / not in front of or behind me." Although, if someone is trying to mug us, please do stand in front. Just sayin'.
6. Be ready and willing to commit. If there's one thing farm girls are excellent at, it's commitment. Think about it: taking care of livestock or crops requires a huge commitment. Day in and day out, we have to take care of our critters and/or land. Lives depend on us! We don't chase whims at the drop of the hat, and we expect to receive the same commitment we give.
7. Be steadfast. Sometimes we can be pulled in a million different directions by the thousand thoughts we have running through our heads and the seemingly endless list of things we must do. Be a compass pointing north. Be an anchor helping us to be still. Be a rock in a swift current. Knowing that you are [cue synonyms of steadfast] loyal, faithful, dependable, reliable, steady, and true is vital and it will help us quiet our minds.
8. Understand that we don't need you. We may want you a whole awful lot, but we don't need you. We are strong independent women who don't need no man! In all seriousness, however, there's a good chance we've been single for a while. There's a good chance we're a little (or a lot) hard to win over. This isn't because we play games or because we want to be single for the rest of our lives. It is because we recognize our self worth and we know what we need. If we know you're not the right man for us, we won't date you just for the sake of dating (which is a good thing in the long run).
9. Be a 1 Corinthians 13/Proverbs 31 kind of man. Be patient. Be kind. Do not envy. Do not boast. Do not be proud. Honor others. Don't be self-seeking. Control your temper. Don't keep a record of wrongs. Rejoice with the truth. Always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.
   
   Are you scratching your head at the second part of my statement? That's okay. Everyone always talks about the Proverbs 31 woman, and for good reason of course. But did you ever notice what her husband does? He has full confidence in her. As noble as she is, we know that no human can ever be perfect, yet her husband still places his trust in her. He allows her to conduct her own business. He is respected. He praises her. Sounds like a heck of man to me! And surely neither would be able to be what they are (noble and respected) if not for the encouragement and support received from each other.
   
   Oh, and you can throw in some Song of Solomon, too, if you're feeling romantic. ;)
10. Be firmly rooted. In faith, first and foremost, but in other areas as well. In relationship. In commitment. In character. In love. Just as a tree is held by its roots, so shall you be held by your roots during the storms of life, and by extension your family will be as well.  

Even though this is far from my usual post, I enjoyed writing it! I hope you enjoyed reading it, too. And if you happen to see this perfect man walking around, point him in my direction! *wink wink*

Cheers