Let me make it clear, before I begin, that I choose to take trials in stride to the best of my ability. As Hank Hill from "King of the Hill" would suggest, I take my feelings and shove them into my stomach. Actually, I let myself grieve for a brief stint and then I attempt to just move on with life. I know that there are those who would find that calloused, but it isn't; it's just the way I deal with things. Don't let my matter-of-fact account of heartbreak fool you into thinking that my heart does not indeed break when I suffer losses, because it most certainly does. I am not heartless and unfeeling. I just recognize that there is no sense moping or giving up, and that there is always a silver lining - always. "All things work out for the good of those who love God." Sometimes that verse is hard to apply to life, but we must face the fact that bad things happen in a fallen world, but if nothing else they allow us to learn from mistakes, build up a tougher skin for life's future heartaches, and empathize with others. That's not to say that I by any means feel bad for ten minutes and move on. I obviously feel bad for longer periods of time. It's just that life goes on. I can't lay in bed and cry 24/7 because life threw some lemons into my eyeballs.
Anywho, onto my recap. The past five months have not been easy ones. I will try to list things briefly and just give an overview rather than a step-by-step novel. First, at the beginning of the year, my mother was hospitalized for pneumonia. She is all better now, but that was clearly stressful. Following that, my bottle-baby, Marli-roo, died. It is my belief that she was suffocated or crushed, though we did not have a necropsy done. Following that, my friend and I stopped at a wreck and had to witness a man burning to death inside of a car. It wasn't anyone I knew, but I still had a massive panic attack. I have never seen another person literally being killed before my eyes...I wouldn't wish to ever witness something like that again. Thankfully, it wasn't graphic; the flames were so big that we couldn't see much inside the vehicle. Anywho, moving right along...after that, all but two of my hens and my one rooster were killed by my neighbor's dogs. Said neighbor was notified of the issues, but did not do anything to rectify the situation or keep her dogs on her property. We should have been more forceful, because some time later, after the remaining chickens were made more secure, the dogs caught our little Pomeranian dog, Bree, and killed her. I am honestly glad that I was asleep when it happened, but I do regret that my parents had to see it and take her to the vet, where she passed. Bree did absolutely nothing to deserve that, and honestly, I'm still very angry. Following that, my doe Rumor went into labor on my best friend's birthday. What should have been exciting and happy ended up being scary and sad. I had to bring her into the vet for an emergency c-section, and we lost both of the babies. I'm glad Rumor herself was able to be saved, but still...I will probably have that poor little boy that almost made it stuck in my mind for a while yet. I was holding him and rubbing him to help him wake up from the drugs, but he was only taking intermittent gasps of air and he eventually died in my lap. I guess the trauma and the drugs were too much for the tiny thing. That was my fault...if I had recognized the problem sooner and brought her in sooner, he and his sister might have lived. I can't undo that, though, but at least I have learned. After all of that, my baby girl, Lucky the Pomeranian, has a tumor in her mammary tissue. I've had her since she was just a little bitty thing, and have actually known her since she was born. I got her when I was 13 or 14, I'd have to look at her papers to be sure. In any case, this tumor has to be dealt with and it's making me sick with worry. Hopefully it will be benign and surgery will go well, especially given her age. I am taking her in to another vet this week for a second opinion and surgery.
That all brings me to today, or tomorrow, rather. Tomorrow, Rumor will go to her new home along with Pumpkin. I never wanted to sell Rumor. She and Ariel were the second two does I added to my herd after Brownie and Sandy. I didn't even have a true "herd" before I added them, actually. Rumor is just the sweetest, most docile little thing and I wanted to keep her around forever... but, after her c-section, I realized that she would be better off in a pet home than living in my herd as a pet. I have two reasons for that. First of all, my herd has always ostracized her and it's only gotten worse as the herd has grown. They are really downright mean to her, and she's so docile that she can hardly stand up for herself. Secondly, the vet was unable to do even a partial hysterectomy on her during the c-section, which means that as long as I have bucks on my property there is a chance of her getting accidentally bred without me noticing in time to terminate the pregnancy, and that could honestly kill her. So, I decided she would be better off in a pet home with a smaller group, no bucks, and no future plans to breed. Luckily I have found just such a home with a very nice lady who will be keeping Rumor and Pumpkin just as pets and lives very near here. Unfortunately, it breaks my heart to see her go. This year is the first in which I have lost goats to death and the first in which I've had to make such a hard decision about letting a favorite go. I am going to miss her sweet, sweet personality terribly.
At times, this year has stressed me to the point that I have contemplated quitting the whole "having animals" thing all together. It doesn't surprise me at all that many people give up on owning goats after their third year. Here it is my third year of owning them, and they have seemingly kicked me in my hindquarters. The learning curve of goats is perhaps the steepest of all animals. I can't tell you how many hours I have spent reading books, magazines, websites, and forums about goats, plus the hands on experience and talking to other seasoned breeders, and yet some days I feel like I don't know much more than I knew starting out. There is always so much to learn with these things! There have definitely been several times I have had to remind myself why I am doing this at all. However, I feel like the trade off is worth it. To know goats is to love them, truly. There is no species on this planet quite like goats and I can't honestly imagine my life without them. The importance of preserving heritage breeds is also still at the back of my mind, and the importance of providing myself and my family with healthy dairy products from a humane source devoid of growth hormones and unnecessary antibiotics is always at the forefront of my thoughts as well. Regardless, I truly love my goats and I think it's probably pretty plain that I wouldn't still own them if I didn't. There is a saying that says, "There are two types of people: Those that can leave the farm and those that can't. If you can leave, you should." That is so true, especially of goats.
Well, now that I have likely sucked the joy right out of you, on to the good news! I have added two lovely does this year. One is Abby, whom I have already told you about, and the other is Tira. Tira is a Minimancha, which is a cross between a LaMancha and a Nigerian Dwarf, and the sweetest thing you will ever meet. Her milk stand manners are to die for, and she is just a joy to be around. I am very excited about delving into the world of MiniManchas. What first truly drove me to them was the issue of Rumor's tiny pelvis. I thought, "Y'know, I bet the MiniManchas have a lower chance of having that problem, since they are crossed with a standard breed." However, after researching the breed, I am truly falling in love with the little "ear-less wonders." (They actually have ears, they are just very small.) Nigerian Dwarves in the mix shrink down the large size of the LaManchas into a more manageable mid-size animal and also add a higher butterfat content to the milk and possible year round breeding. LaManchas add the adorable t-niny ears, a very sweet and docile personality, and higher production yields. Whereas Nigerians produce, on average, between one and two quarts a day, a MiniMancha's average yield should be between 1/2-one gallon of milk a day ideally. LaManchas are also the only dairy breed developed in America. I am currently in the process of re-evaluating my herd toward dairy production, and the addition of the Minis will certainly help that. I also think it will be exciting to be a part of the development of a newish breed.
I am, thankfully, done with kidding for the year (I do not need any more stress this year!). I have plans in my head of which direction I would like my herd to go in next year, but for now, I am done adding animals either through purchase or birth. I intend to conquer my Summer class (which I regret adding more and more each day the closer it gets...but I have sound reasoning for it), and then take the month of July to actually relax and enjoy Summer. My Spring and early Summer has been so hectic that I've just felt an almost constant sense of being overwhelmed and anxious. It will be nice to sit back, relax, and enjoy some homemade ice cream and cajeta (both made of goat milk, of course!) in July before fall classes swoop in to make me crazy again. That is not to mention the sewing, preserving, gardening, and soap making I intend to be doing, of course. =) I also hope to save enough money to afford to buy the used parts and assemble myself a milk machine prior to October, when I have a trip to Alabama planned.
Well, I will leave you all with a Bible verse that I stumbled upon by "chance" (or perhaps divine intervention) while reading my Bible one night that has really stayed close to my heart ever since.
"Not only so, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been proud within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:3-5
Also, before I go, I would like to share a picture of Marli and a picture of Bree in memoriam. They will be sorely missed....
Marli-Roo
Bree.
(I know that's a silly picture, but that was just her personality.)
-Rachel in Wonderland
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